Contemplation

This past weekend I competed in the Boulder Field 100K, an ultramarathon held at Hickory Run State Park in Carbon County, Pennsylvania. The race was my “B” race for the year, with another 100K, World’s End 100K, having been my “A” race earlier this year. Both were challenging.

Running both of these races were a step up for me in my ultra running. My longest event prior was a 12 hour race that I’ve done 3 times, reaching distances of 50-55 miles in each of those.

The step up to 100K distance served a greater purpose. While a lofty goal in itself, the 100K was let me see where I stand in relationship to my ultimate running goal, and whether I think I have it within me to truly pursue that that ultimate goal. The ultimate goal, something that has intrigued me ever since the day I learn about them… is a 100 miler.

I remember first hearing of a 100 miler, something I had no idea existed, and while sounding so incredibly insane and intimidating, for whatever reason stuck with me and sounded so wild and I could only imagine what it would take to do one. At this time I had been built up to half marathon distance or so and only begun to head off road and start explore this new (to me) world of trail running. I liked the feeling of being out in the woods and nature and how trails were constantly up and down and weaving around. It was so different from the same footfalls of road running.

I researched these 100 milers and learned there were many, and that they were incredibly difficult. But somehow the fascination of what it would be like to say you attempted (or hopefully completed one) stuck with me. The intriguing aspect of this type of event never went away. It was like a spark was lit inside of me. I knew next to nothing about these 100’s, and by all means was nowhere near ready to even think about trying something half that long, but the thought of “well, maybe some day” was in me.

I did get my running built up and meet my goal of running a marathon… 3 in fact in total. I still wasn’t ready for the ultra thing though. The long distance running was still new to me and while I could handle it, pushing even farther was not in me yet as I didn’t feel I could tolerate the increased training load.

A change of careers and going back to school derailed my running for a period of 2 years or so. During this time I just kept a base really, with anything over five miles almost seeming like a bonus of some sorts. Keeping my base was my only goal while returning to school. This way I wouldn’t have to start from zero since the same goal, even now more distant in achieving, was still in my head.

Upon graduating, a few months later I did a trail 25K. I considered that my re-entry and start point for building things back up. It went well and I loved it. The following year I got brave enough to try my first ultra, and doing 2 overall just 3 weeks apart that first year. The following year, I did 4 ultras, and then 3 more the next year. I had sort of stagnated I guess, doing ultra but not increasing distance too terribly much.

That’s where this year comes into play. I decided I needed to test myself and start to really push myself. I had my eye on a few 100K’s and decided I needed to do these or I’ll never advance toward that ultimate goal.

With successful completion of two 100K’s, which you can read about at this link (World’s End 100K) and at this link (Boulder Field 100K), my confidence has grown. I am now pondering if it’s time to pursue the ultimate goal. There are several reasons why.

Had I failed at those races, then I’d know I wasn’t ready. Granted neither were easy and both were challenging, but being I did complete them, then I feel I have some legitimate times were I felt the challenge of what I could face in a 100 miler. I also now with both the 100K’s know the experience of having to drive a good distance to the race and camp the night—essentially being out of one’s comfort zone. With the 100K’s I also gained experience with running in the dark since both started at 5 AM and I finished my first 100K in the dark too. That is something I definitely will need practice with.

Being that I’m in my mid 40’s, I know I’m not getting any younger. Each year older I get it will be just a bit tougher to push myself to my max.

I feel kinda at a crossroads now though. I know there’s several reasons why I should probably go after the goal, but several that still cast doubt. Each of the 100K were tough! When you tire to this degree, I find it daunting to go for another 40 miles and, depending on difficulty, be out there another on the trails another 10-20 hours.

I know probably every ultra runner debates this in a pursuit of 100 miles. I guess I’m just bugged by the fact I don’t know if I’m ready. I like to know if I’m ready or not, and right now I’m unsure.

In conclusion, I know I have to weigh many items and do some soul searching. We’ll see. The other point sticking with me is I’ll likely have regret if I never at least attempt a 100 miler, and I think that is what weighs on me the most.

If anyone reading this has any advice, feel free to share. Thanks as always for reading!