I think it’s safe to say a lot of runners are goal oriented. Sometimes those goals are more external, influenced by either an individual or group, but I’m willing to guess that most of our goals are the product of internal factors. I’d also venture to say that we runners put a fair amount of pressure on ourselves to reach our goals.
I’d like to discuss that pressure, or expectation, we impose on ourselves, for personally, I am experiencing that right now.
For me, 2018 is so far turning out to be a year that is not what I envisioned in regards to running. I was hoping to increase the distance of my ultramarathon races this year to work toward my ultimate goal of a 100 mile race. The idea I had was to try something of the following: 100K, 12 hr, or 24 hr event—or several of them. I did sign up for a 100K race (my first of that distance) and was considering some of the same ultras I had done in prior years, but also wanted to try a few different ones too, again with the focus on distances at or beyond the 50 mile distance.
One reason things haven’t gone as planned is the changing of race events. I was looking at a fairly local event that had a 12 and 24 hour option but found out from the race website that due to low participation the prior year they are no longer holding the race again in 2018, so that option was a no go. Another event with 12 and 24 hour options changed the date to a week or two after a 50K that I planned to run, and I felt there was not enough recovery time for me to compete well in both events. So I eliminated that event from my potential races as well.
In this instance, my expectations were derailed by external factors that I had no control over so it was just something I had to deal with and find a similar substitute regarding my events/races. There was nothing I could do to change those circumstances so accepting them and finding a workaround was fairly easy—it was the only choice. Right now I am looking at finding some new races that are either in the summer or fall timeframe.
Finding races later in the year leads me to my next point about managing expectations, and the one I really wanted to write about.
Again what I’ll talk about is a topic out of my control (largely), but for whatever reason has been one I’m finding much more difficult to deal with and accept.
In 2018 I’ve found it to be difficult to stay healthy for any extended time. It’s not something major or significant regarding health, but instead several episodes of the nagging, annoying, something that you just get sick of being sick type of unhealthiness. Starting at the first of the year, I had a head cold for a week or two having congestion, stuffiness, coughing, and fatigue. Then a week of a stomach bug cropped up which really draining my energy. Upon getting rid of that, another head cold that hung on for several weeks got me again. By the time that disappeared, so had the month of February essentially!
Having exceptionally cold temperatures in January made motivation for getting out to run difficult as well during my bout with having a cold. Upon looking back I wonder if running in very cold temperatures led to the head colds hanging around for so long. I have no way of knowing, I guess just looking back I wonder what I could have done differently.
I had been running the entire time with these ailments but at a decreased intensity and not really building up my mileage that much either. By the time I built up my mileage again to build toward my long-term goals, I again developed another head cold. I finally decided to see a physician to get cleared up and while I have been able to stay healthy overall since that I still don’t feel 100% yet.
This has lead to a few things. While I have been able to build up my mileage, I notice myself tiring quicker and thus I haven’t pushed myself as hard knowing I’ll increase my likelihood of developing a running injury from the jump in mileage to soon. To compensate I’ve been running as far as I feel I safely can and immediately follow it with hiking so that I can extend the time on my feet without wearing myself out too much. This slower paced hiking is good for training anyway as I will have spots that require hiking in my eventual ultras.
I also fear pushing myself too far will compromise my immunity and I’ll get sick again. I’ve been more diligent with dressing so I don’t overheat and subsequently sweat too much as I’ll often then get chilly quickly. I just find it very hard mentally and psychologically to push myself at my true limits fearing it will bring about another round of sickness.
All of this has lead me to rethink and adjust my ultramarathon goals for 2018.
I have a 50K coming up in one week and to date my longest long run has been 16 miles. If I include my hiking I’ve got up to 20 miles but that is by no means where I feel I should be for a 50K. For that event, I’ve come to the conclusion that I won’t set a PR and will have to “settle” for just getting it done. While I feel I can do it, I know I will be slow and the distance will more than likely feel very tough. I’ll and take pride in knowing that I can enjoy some of the views and scenery instead as when I’m racing I don’t notice the surroundings near as much.
Regarding my 100K I had signed up for, I will be contacting the race officials and withdrawal from the race, letting a more ready and deserving candidate enter. That 100K was six weeks after my 50K and I know there’s no way I’d be reading to double my distance and feel anywhere near ready for it. I will shoot for the same race next year. There’s always next year I tell myself.
While I don’t like what hand I’ve been dealt, I realize it’s fairly minor in the grand scheme of things. My running is essentially, an albeit important, hobby to me and waiting another year to run a race I really wanted to attempt will not kill me. I want to keep running a long time so if slowing down in the short term with aid me in staying healthy for the long term then that is what I need to do and how I’m approaching things going forward.
Overall, I’m trying to take a step back and look at things from a broader perspective. Some of my aspirations, even within running, yet alone my entire life, are evolving and changing, so I’m taking this one piece of my life and looking at how if fits into a bigger puzzle.
If health will allow I’ll progress beyond what I done in the past but for right now I need to just put myself in the position to attempt a greater goal. Sometimes that’s just what needs done.
